More of the story...

So...I finally feel like it's "safe" to share more reasons why Inna is a true miracle to our family.  The entire process has been quite an experience as we feel we are having such a close and intimate encounter with God.  This story is just one more way God has revealed Himself to us. 

“Now listen, you who say, ‘Today or tomorrow we will go to this or that city, spend a year there, carry on business and make money.’ Why, you do not even know what will happen tomorrow.” James 4:13-14a (NIV)

This verse is so true...we don't know what will happen tomorrow.  In Ukraine, it was as if we couldn't predict the next hour, and that can make for a very insecure feeling. 

For those of you who have been following the blog, you remember our meeting with Sasha.  After our meeting and decision to move forward with another SDA appointment, both of us felt like our translator, coordinator, and agency were upset or questioning our decision.  Our instincts were correct because that evening we received a phone call around 10:30pm from our agency in California.  They called us to discuss our decision to not adopt Sasha.  It was explained to us that we should not expect to adopt a child with less-severe special needs, especially a child who has a cleft lip and/or palate.  Essentially, we were told that a child with a cleft lip and/or palate was considered "healthy" and our paperwork would not allow us to adopt a child with such needs.

WHOA!  Hold on!  Our paperwork specifically stated we were seeking a child with a cleft lip/palate and for the past 9 months this had never been revealed to us.  Now that we're in Ukraine, we are given this information?!?!

Well...to say the least we were very discouraged.  I had never been more scared in my life.  I truly thought we would be in Ukraine another few weeks and return home heart-broken and without a child.  It was a helpless feeling and I had no idea why God had led us down this road.  I mean, this whole process sounds ridiculous...I know...I've repeated our crazy story a dozen times with the same "you are a nut" stares!!!  I felt like a fool and I didn't know how we had "missed" God's direction in our lives.  I read through my journal over and over again and read over countless scriptures that had spoken directly to me over the past several months.  Seriously, this is where were were supposed to be...but why?  For what purpose?  God, what child have you chosen for us?  Please reveal him/her to us!

Soooo, I don't think either of us slept after the conversation with our agency.  We stayed up all night praying and contemplating our decisions up to this point.  Satan attacked and I wasn't sure what the next step was.  We met our coordinator the following day and she reiterated the same information about a child with cleft lip/cleft palate, but she was working hard to find us a child.  At the time of our appointment, she had found a young boy who needed hip surgery.  We arrived at the SDA office and waited...and waited...and waited.  We were then informed that the boy she had worked so hard for us to visit was actually not eligible for adoption for another 6 months.  Now what?  There weren't any more leads...  We waited over 2 hours in the hallway at the office as our coordinator made phone calls, talked to the social workers, and replied to text messages.

Finally, our coordinator came to us with the possibility of meeting a little girl with a cleft lip/palate.  Wait...come again?  I thought our paperwork didn't allow that?  If we meet her and get to court, will they take her from us because of our paperwork?  How is this possible?  Well...she said she was really going to work hard to persuade the social workers.  Hmmm...not very convincing, but I did trust her to work in the best interest of us and the children.  If we did not get to see her, we could waste our 2nd of three SDA appointments.  At this time it was after 5pm and we had to make a decision.  I point blank asked our coordinator if we should move forward and she said yes. 

Well, the rest is history...we saw a baby picture of little Inna, decided to meet her...then fell in love.  Even though the decision to not adopt Sasha was difficult, it paved the way for Inna's files to be opened, and it was the perfect timing for the Bottorffs!  God knew exactly what He was doing (duh) and He allowed us to see His mighty hand from beginning to end...well, who knows when the end is:)  What a blessing for us to meet Sam to heal our hearts, find out that Sasha was adopted, and to have the perfect daughter for our family!  It's overwhelming and I know many of you have been praying for us and have also seen God at work in your lives.  May you be blessed by this story as we are!!

They're coming to America...TODAY!

I just woke Todd up at 2am Ukraine time for their early flight!  They will arrive tomorrow night around 6:30pm and we'll reunite as a family!!!  This is it...our little Inna is coming home!  We are very excited, yet there are many unknowns.  We have never done this before but we have a plan and what we feel is best for our daughter and our family.  We've been waiting so long to hold our baby girl in our arms at our home to begin the attachment process. 

 

While we are preparing a place for Inna in our home and hearts, Inna has not even thought of leaving her orphanage. She is happy and content in the loving arms of her caregivers but in just a few short hours, Inna will be experiencing the loss of everything she has ever known.  We anticipate that this will be a very difficult time for our little girl.  We ask that you keep Inna in your prayers.

 

We have been so blessed by this gift. We want to make sure we are doing everything we can for Inna to feel secure. It is important to remember, she's lost her birth-mother, the nurses and staff at the hospital before and after her surgery, and now will be losing her caregivers and friends at the orphanage where she has been for 3 years.  She will be grieving the loss of her environment, caregivers, friends, language, sounds, smells, and familiar foods, etc. This usually lasts for at least a few weeks, but grieving episodes could occur for months after her arrival. Grieving episodes are intensified by over stimulation, so we need to keep her world quiet and small for her first weeks with us as she begins to bond with her forever mommy and daddy.  We know many of you have bonded with her just as we have through her pictures and videos!  So many of you have prayed daily for her and we do not underestimate the bond or love you feel for her as well!  We hope you understand our need for this special time with our baby girl.

 

I hope to post more pictures and videos later this week so you can see little Inna with her whole family!!:):)  YIPPEE!!

The Passport paperwork is in!!!!!!!!!

I got a call at 7am today that the paperwork is complete!!  Todd can make his Tuesday appointment at the US Embassy for the VISA and final phase of this journey!  Praise the Lord!  They are on an overnight train now to Kyiv and will arrive around 6am (10pm our time).  He called me while on the train and gave me the scoop:

***Inna has been perfect all day...smiling, laughing, and being cooperative
***They ate dinner at McDonalds--Inna ate 2 French fries, a hamburger bun, a few bites of burger, and didn't want her potato
***Inna will not let Daddy out of her sight...he says he can't even go to the bathroom without a little follower:)
***As he talked with me, she was twirling her hair and falling asleep.  She was laying half on his lap and half off the seat---he said she was so cute!

I'll post more later but now we have an idea of when they'll be home!  It is VERY possible that they will be able to make the Thursday morning flight and be in KC on Thursday afternoon...that is our prayer!!

Ukraine blues

There is nothing exciting to report today.  We visited Inna twice and she is warming up to Landon.  She is able to associate his picture with him now and tries to say his name.  We've been working on getting a picture of the two together, but every time the opportunity presents itself my camera is nowhere to be found!  She does get a bit sad when we play hide and seek.  I think she expects Mommy to jump out from behind a tree.  The great thing about 3 year olds is that if you distract them it is pretty easy to get them thinking about something else.  We are now just waiting for the passport.  Once we get it, we will take Inna with us to Kiev and set up an appointment at the embassy.  If you are praying for us, please pray that the passport is ready no later than Monday.  Otherwise, we will have to push back our return date one day for every day longer the passport takes.

Since being here our apartment has been without gas for a day (no stove or hot water), then we lost power the other night for a while (no air conditioning in the bedroom), then today they shut the water off for the day (no...  lets just say we take extra walks to McDonalds).  The only real grocery store within walking distance of us (at least the only one that sold diet coke) has been closed for remodeling.  Every other building within 2 kilometers is decaying, but the very nice grocery store needed some sprucing up I guess.  At least I have good company with me.  If I had come on a trip like this during my summer vacation when I was 11 I would not have been as good natured as Landon!

Firsts

First Dance

I'm sure every parent has experienced hundreds of "firsts" with their children.  Today I experienced a few firsts and now I can't wait for a lifetime of them.  Landon and I arrived this morning at the orphanage and there was a big celebration going on.  It is International Day for the Protection of Children.  They had music and several performers in costume dancing around.  Landon and I made our way close to get some pics and video and spotted Inna standing next to her favorite caregiver Olga, a.k.a. "Number One".  "Number Two" was also there so Inna was in good hands this morning.  I was taking pics and video of here dancing to the music and then she saw me.  She lit up and started waving.  She tugged at Olga's dress and informed her Daddy was here.  (She could have also been telling her that she saw a bird, but I choose the former)  They handed out stuffed animals, giant butterfly cookies and juice boxes to all the kids.  Everyone was so excited!

To this point Landon and I were just standing around at the edge of the crowd taking pics.  Inna's caregivers caught our attention and called us over.  Inna instantly wanted to be picked up.  I didn't hesitate.  Once the crowd died down we played for about an hour and a half.  There were 3-4 new pieces of playground equipment, and everything has a fresh coat of paint on it.

First Car Ride

Then came a real treat.  We got to take Inna away from the orphanage for a trip to the passport office.  I wasn't sure how she would do.  Would it be scary for Daddy to carry her outside of that iron gate that we have been careful to avoid with her for fear someone would think we were trying to make a run for it?  Well, I guess Inna hasn't seen as many prison movies as Daddy because she wasn't creeped out at all as we walked through the gates.  I however kept waiting for the spotlights to find me and sirens to begin blaring.  We got in the car and started off.  Now, there are NO observable traffic laws in Ukraine.  As far as I can tell the rules are summed up with try not to make contact with other vehicles or pedestrians.  Also, the pedal goes all the way to the floor so you might as well exercise it.  No seatbelts in the back seat either.  Despite the obvious safety deficiencies here, I felt like Inna was as safe as she could possibly be.  A meteor could strike our car and she would be unharmed because she was in Daddy's arms and I felt like I was bulletproof.  Funny how these man of steel feelings disappear the moment a tear forms.  Even Superman had his kryptonite.

First Nap

It was very hot yesterday and the ride was fast and bumpy.  I don't have full Daddy instincts yet so I wasn't sure if she was going to be sick or fall asleep.  You can imagine my relief when her head nodded and her eyes got heavy!  My little girl was drifting off to sleep in my arms.  We got her back to the orphanage, and carried her up to her room.  A bowl of food was waiting for her and I assume she then went and joined her group for a nice nap.  She had to be wiped out from such a busy day.  I am hopeful that she is as calm during the long journey home.

Back in the (former) U.S.S.R.

If this post sounds a bit different than what you have become accustomed to it is because Dad is posting for a while.  With Alicia still at home dealing with being sick, it is up to Landon and I to safely bring Inna home.  First I need to say that I miss Alicia intensely!  I know it is killing her to have to stay home, but we are both realizing we can't think about how something affects just us any longer.  We now have a little girl whose life is our privilege to guide.  She is truly a gift and there is nothing I can ever do to deserve the grace God has shown me first by bringing Alicia into my life, and now our Inna.

It took just under 46 hours from our house to the orphanage to see Inna.  Landon and I began our journey back to Ukraine to bring Inna home on Sunday morning at 5 am.  Our 3.5 hour flight to Washington DC left at 8 am CST, then we endured a 5 hour layover in DC.  Our flight from DC to Frankfurt was 7 hours followed by another 3 hour layover.  A 1 hour flight then to Munich followed by another 2 hour layover.  Finally a 2.5 hour flight to Kiev was followed by a lovely 6.5 hour wait at the central train station in Kiev.  After all this we hopped on a train for the 8.5 hour trek to Dnipropetrovsk.  Once there we dropped our things at our apartment, took a MUCH needed shower, and ran to the grocery store to stock up on bananas and water.  4 hours after arriving in town, we headed to the orphanage.

During this time I had a building anxiety about seeing Inna for the first time again in 11 days.  I have been avoiding videos of our girl while home because my heart just aches to be without her.  Although we struggled with the decision to come home, we were definitely looking forward to coming back to our house and recharging our batteries.  I can tell you that although seeing that red, white and blue back home and time with family was wonderful I realized that my life will never be the same again without my daughter in it.  Throughout the travels back to Ukraine my anxiety about seeing Inna began to go up.  I feared that Inna would be angry at us for leaving.  I feared that Inna would be angry at me for coming back without Mom.  My biggest fear though is that Inna would see me and not care at all as if I was a stranger. 

When we arrived at the orphanage this morning we were going to meet with the director and then go get Inna for a visit.  As we were walking towards the entrance there was a commotion on the playground.  I looked over and there was Inna waving her arms frantically at me and making all kinds of noise!  We went over and she latched on to my neck for about 20 minutes and we just stared at each other both with giant grins on our faces.  I wanted to say something to her, but the giant lump in my throat prevented me from saying a word.  The caregivers were crying to see us reunited.  Oh how I wish Mama could have shared in that moment!  Our daughter not only remembers us, but she has been waiting for us to return.

So the mission Landon and I are now on is to obtain a new birth certificate, a Ukrainian passport for Inna, and to complete the immigration paperwork at the US embassy in Kiev.  When those three tasks are complete we are getting on a train and three planes and are heading home.  I am happy to report the birth certificate is complete.  Scratch off task 1.  Task 2 is being started tomorrow with the passport application submission.  This process can take 3-7 days so please pray for as few days as possible.  Task 3 - embassy paperwork cannot even be scheduled until the passport is in hand.  The target return date is still currently set at Thursday, June 9, but the passport is the key to the whole thing.  

I'll continue to do my best to keep everyone updated.  Landon has been awesome so far and is quite the little photographer in my opinion.  We are looking forward to spending more time with Inna as the week goes on and less time in transit!

Update and prayers needed

I talked with Todd and Landon today and they made it safely to Kiev.  They are currently taking a train to meet Inna in the morning:) 

After talking with Todd, we are asking for your prayers.  Natalia and Oksana are not very optimistic about the passport process taking less than 7 days.  This has been so hard for me to swallow, and I know it will be difficult for Todd and Landon.  Please pray that the paperwork can be completed in the "fast" 3 days so my hubby, nephew, and daughter can come home!! 

Also, please pray for Inna.  The transition can be hard on and often children become sick due to the high level of anxiety.  Because the passport process could take a long time, it has been advised that we keep her in the orphanage until the paperwork is complete to lessen the anxiety. 

Hope to have pictures and videos of little Inna soon!!!