All I Really Want For Christmas Music Video

I heard this song and it touched my heart.  Still waiting to hear about Ukrainian law...until then, we keep praying for our little one and orphans throughout the world.  Merry Christmas everyone!

Grasping God's Hope

The past three years have been some of the most difficult times of my life because I have felt so far away from God.  I've often cried out to Him, "Why have You left me?"  "What have I done/not done to have the gift of a child withheld from me?"  "Don't you love me?"  "Why don't You think I will be a good mother?"

I've gone through the grieving process many times as the loss of a dream and a child slipped away with each passing month.  I've felt the guilt of not being able to give Todd a child...denial, trying to convince myself that I really don't want children...anger of not conceiving and knowing that God has the power to reverse this sadness...depression and isolating myself to reflect on my pain...and HOPE, knowing and believing in God's promises:  "For I know the plans that I have for you, plans for welfare and not calamity to give you a future and a hope".  Jeremiah 29:11

Since we have begun the adoption process, I've been full of hope and excitement.  I've been excited to give a child a home who doesn't have anyone to love him/her.  Others have approached me about starting the adoption process, which would give more children homes.  Maybe God is using me in this way.  I've pictured a child in our home, teaching him/her how to say, "puppy", of all things.  I sit in the "baby room" in the rocking chair, and pray for our child.  This chair is special because Todd's mom rocked him in it when he was a baby.  I'm getting attached to this adoptive child, whoever he/she may be.  

Now we've hit another bump in the road.  Until recently, I haven't much worried about it because I've been bound and determined NOT to fall into the temptation of worry!  However, the hour is upon us.  This week Ukraine votes on a bill that could potentially stop adoptions to the U.S. until an agreement is made.  It's kind of like I'm waiting to take another pregnancy test...will it be negative or positive?  I'm living each day holding my breath, wanting to know the result, but not really.  It's already in my mind that adoptions will be put on hold, but I still cling to the hope that nothing will be delayed and we'll adopt as scheduled.  God already knows the outcome and how it will affect our lives.  I continue to replay one of my favorite songs in my head, "You are God alone, from before time began, You are on Your throne, You are God alone..."  I know God is still in control, even if it doesn't feel like it or look like it from my perspective.  I'm so thankful that God has a different perspective than me!  In the midst of our impossible circumstances, God extends His hope to us, and to His orphaned children.  

I'm reading a book my friend, Julia, gave me written by Ruth Graham.  It's called Fear Not Tomorrow, God is Already There.  (yes Julia, I'm STILL reading it:)  I wanted to pass along a passage that has been helpful to me during this uncertain time in my life, yet a time where I'm grasping tightly to God's hope. 

"God has not left you or forgotten about you.  He has planted His hope within you.  You can hope again....Every morning, you wake up to a new day with new potential, new possibilities, new ways to experience God's character, and new opportunities to enjoy this gift God has given you called life!  Yesterday's challenges may change into today's promises fulfilled.  There is still hope!"

Please pray for this bill in Ukraine...that it will not stop adoptions as lawmakers rewrite laws to improve the adoption process.  Children need homes and there are many like me who are waiting to be someone's forever family.  

HAPPY BIRTHDAY BABY BOTTORFF

Today "Little Bottorff" turned 2 years old!  We bought a small cake and blew out two candles for him and sang Happy Birthday...too bad it wasn't in Ukrainian:) 
We received some encouraging news regarding his status today too...a fabulous birthday present for him:):)  Tomorrow is our 4 year anniversary...we are excited to find out what year four has in store for us!

Thankful

"He will not forget your work and the love you have shown Him as you have helped His people and continue to help them."

Hebrews 6:10

We have many, many reasons to be thankful!  Most recently, two specific acts of selflessness remain on my mind to share. 


1.  My brother-in-law, Kurt, works very hard at his job and at home.  He is a firefighter and also has a second part-time job.  Recently a tree fell in his neighbor's backyard so hevolunteered to chop it up and haul it off.  In the earnings he made, Kurt and Robyn chose to donate to our adoption fund! 

2.  Last weekend we were invited to a birthday party for Deb and Brent's kiddos, Jaclynn and Jayden.  Jayden was turning 4 and Jaclynn will be 7 at the beginning of December.  We played games, ate cake and ice cream, and opened up gifts.  After the gifts were opened the kids ran over to us and tossed a large wad of cash in our laps and shouted, "Here, this is for you!"  As we sat there unsure of what to do, Deb announced that they had requested donations for "Little Bo" instead of birthday gifts from family and friends.  What a beautiful family and selfless act!


Jay and Jaz in their Halloween costumes!:)



Adoption Garage Sale Fund Raiser

Here are some before pictures of the garage sale.  Isn't my sister cute??:)  Thank you Adrian for making them...they look great and attracted many people!

Thank you Deb and Adrian for helping me organize...you did fabulous:)

Weeeeellllll, after a cold, rainy weekend, God truly reigns!  Despite the weather conditions, people came and were VERY generous!  My mother-in-law made chili dogs...thank you Marlene!  My mom made some home-made caramel corn to sell as well!  We heard many adoption stories and were encouraged throughout the weekend by our family and many friends.  Love you guys!  Thank you for all your support and prayers...we are now a step closer!  Here are some pictures from our weekend!:)

We STILL have 5 racks of QUALITY baby/toddler clothes if anyone is interested:)

Daddyo was our money keeper...doesn't he look official??

My girlfriend made these chocolate, covered Oreos to sell!  WOW!!  Thanks Kayci!:)

Here is my mom organizing some adoption bracelets on a tree!

Experiencing God

We are doing a study in our Sunday School class named Experiencing God.  Last week's lesson stood out to me in many ways.  The beginning story was entitled "God as Provider".  I related to the man in the story because I keep asking myself "How in the world will God make this provision?".  Here is a quote from the lesson that struck me.
"Then it dawned on me, that as long as God knew where I was, He could cause anyone in the world to know where I was.  As long as He knew our situation He could place our need on the heart of anybody He chose." - Blackaby  
God knows where I am right now and where a child without a family is at this very moment.  God also knows we have a garage full of items for sale on a rainy, cold weekend!  I don't know why trust is so hard, and how doubt creeps in so easily, but I am reminded through this study and through real experiences that God is in this situation.  He has a plan to form forever families for children and for parents throughout the world.  "He is a able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to His power that is at work within us." Ephesians 3:20


Praise God for my parents who came into town a day early to help set up and go without sleep!  Who also have organized and moved items, made meals, and even did a load of laundry!
Praise God for friends who bake brownies, baby chocolates, sort clothes, borrow out their truck, their donations, and for words of encouragement and especially prayer!
Praise God for a husband who works so late to continue getting the paperwork sorted, faxed, and organized!
Praise God for our Little Bottorff...he is already loved and I can't wait to tell him all the stories about how his mommy and daddy are loved by so many!
God has a perfect plan and I am excited to see how this story unfolds and I know all of you are a part of this story with us!!

Garage Sale November 12-13 - fund raiser!

Hey everyone,
We are holding our first official fund raiser this weekend!  We have had so many friends and family donate items for our garage sale.  Thank you all!  We are still collecting items until Friday so if you have any items you want to donate let us know.  Also please spread the word about the sale!

It is Friday Nov 12 and Saturday Nov 13 at our house at 8 am each day.  20903 W 53rd Terrace, Shawnee, KS 66218.  Pray for success and thank you for all the prayers so far!